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About Varied / Hobbyist Premium Member lindsey smithFemale/United States Recent Activity
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voyd- body form chara sheet [fan-art] by Hypnogoat-666 Please be quiet...I'm trying to think~ by ridetherocket

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Mar 5, 2015
10:50 pm
Mar 5, 2015
5:29 pm
Mar 3, 2015
9:54 pm
Mar 2, 2015
3:46 am
Feb 27, 2015
1:13 pm
I went to a very nice private school with my friend gabby and some other people and our class was headed to lunch. I was standing next to gabby and also to this guy that was really nice and well known in the school. He was smart, helpful, and friendly with everyone. I was slowly making my way up the line like everyone else and talking with some people around me. Todays lunch was pretty small, it was a bunch of apple slices in some sauce thing like light peanut butter mixed with honey, some salad, and something else that I don't remember. When I made my way around to the salad bar, there was this giant slice of cheese that I picked up and jokingly said, "I'm gettin' this" to gabby but then the lunch lady that took our money said,"if you take that then you'll have to put something back or pay for 2 days worth of lunch" 
"really??" I replied as she looked at me sternly but apologetically. So I put it back then typed in my code to pay while gabby went to go set at a table for us. When I got done typing in my code and the guy behind me started to type his, there was a loud explosion by the wall behind the stage type thing. The brick wall had been blown out and there was dust lingering around the new hole. Nobody knew what was going on- some people looked all nonchalantly while others were panicked, scared, and confused, kind of like me. The sounds of guns firing rang from the hole and I quickly turned towards all the people in line and then at the nice kids face. A split second later from when I turn, his head explodes right in my face; covering my hair, my face, my cloths- all soaked in blood and other body matter. It all went in slow motion and everyone behind him had ducked, only getting a couple splats on them. Then it sped up again. He had dropped to the floor and I opened my eyes. Someone had then grabbed me from behind, I don't know if it was the lunch lady or gabby, but someone pulled me back away from the chaos of the kids scattering from the lifeless body. 
"I'm terrified. I have no idea what was going on and now this kid was dead. His head exploded right on me. And now he's dead. His blood is all over me, and he's dead. He's dead. He died no farther than a foot in front of my face. All over me. And Now He's Dead. He's dead. he's dead. What was happening."
The dust had now cleared from the hole in the wall and there were about 5 people standing there with guns. They were dressed in all white with hats and high collars so no one could see their faces. One of them started talking, making demands and threats, while the principle tried to negotiate with them so that no one else would get hurt, but it was all over soon. There was more gunfire from somewhere outside of the building then all the terrorists inside were killed. After a long pause of somewhat relief from the immediate danger, the principle looked at everyone then directly at me and said, "evacuate the whole school." (he said this to everyone but looked at me because of the damage he saw everyone could have been put through) Gabby grabbed me and we both ran out together like everyone else. 
It was now a lot later in the dream: it was almost night time. I was still with gabby and still scared and confused out of my mind. I had cleaned off real well and changed but I still felt like his body was on me. I sat with gabby and talked to her about it but not all of it because I was scared to. "Everyone had gone through it. Why do I have any more right to complain more than the others."
"It's ok. You went through alot today.." Gabby told me, but I just looked down- then asked,  "Can we go back to the school.? Our stuff is still there." 
Gabby and I walked back to the school around 7:30 or so when it was dark but still warm outside then went in through the side cafeteria door. The school was dark accept for a couple emergency lights that always stayed on, but even then it was too dark to tell what stuff was mine. We weren't the only people here, there were others that had come back to get their things or to just mourn. Gabby held up a bag to me and said, "I think this ones yours?" I looked at it and it looked a lot like a side bag that I sometimes carried around but this one had zippers and a smiling teeth pattern. "I don't think so.." I replied in a sad low tone. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned on the flashlight then shined it around until I found my bag by one of the desks. Accept for some dirt from the ground, it was clean- there wasn't any blood, guts, or dust from the explosion. I picked up my bag and slid it over my shoulders then turned off my flashlight and turned to gabby. We were about to leave but then heard a television in the corner of the room talking about what happened. We both walked over and listened. It was turned to a news channel and they had apparently gotten some footage from a helicopter over what happened. On the roof, there were about 6 terrorists and one of them had a boy from school. I forgot his name but he was kinda pudgy and gentle, "wouldn't hurt a fly" type and not the brightest sometimes but still smart. Just made dumb decisions about small things. Anyways, one of the terrorists had him in a choke hold with a gun pointed at his head while the others were standing guard, looking for cops. The kid had gotten scared and tried to squirm out of his grasp but then it made all the other terrorists freak out and  start arguing that the kid was trying to distract them so that the police could get to them. They all started turning and checking what way to stand guard but then they were all shot by the police that had been in the other direction. "All that had happened before the terrorists in the lunchroom were shot" I thought. After that, it switched to an animation thing showing where the police and terrorists where and how they were going to attack. Then it showed an interview of the lunch lady and some other people that knew the guy that had been standing by me when he was shot in the head with a shotgun. 
"He was such a good boy.. It's a shame to have lost him. He'd done nothing to deserve this.." The lunch lady said.
After the report ended me and gabby went back home and I went to sleep. The next day we met at this kids center (for all people) or something where you can hang out if you don't have anywhere else to go, and tried to get our minds off of what happened. There was one of those huge things that you set up then drop the marble in and watch it go down the different paths to the bottom in the room and I watched gabby play with a kid that was playing with one of those. I called someone I knew in my dream to try to get my mind off of things but I was also kind of scared to tell them what happened. "Do people really care what I've been through?" "Do they think I'm just over reacting or seeking attention?" I thought. When I called it was a guy and they sounded a bit frustrated. The call was silent for a little bit but then he spoke up. He was angry and got mad at me because I wasn't being good to him I think. I don't remember all he said but I remember at one point he said this, 
"Do you really love me? You don't even know my parents names, you don't know what they do, you don't know where I live, you don't know what I like, you don't even know my middle name-" etc. I stuttered to try to get a word in to calm him down and tell him that wasn't true but then I got quiet and he hung up on me. I had been through a lot and I couldn't take much more. I just wanted some relief. I decided to let him take his time to calm down and not bother him while I went over to gabby to see how her and the little kid were doing. I watched the marbles drop for awhile then got up and told Gabby I was going to head home. I walked inside and went to the kitchen to get some food but then my mom asked me what was wrong. I guess I had a look of despair on my face. I just said nothing at first because the last people I wanted to talk to about this to were my parents, but then Richard got up from his chair and started hounding me about it. I kept telling him nothing and then went into my room with my mom and sat down. I was about to tell her but then Richard came around the corner slowly. I got up to shut my door but then he put his hand in the way on the door frame. 
"How come you can tell your mother but not me?" He said,
and I replied, "Because I don't want to tell you"
then I walked out of my room and back into the dining room by the back door. Richard and my mom had both followed me, my mom getting ready for work and had on this rubber space suit or something, but Richard was still hounding me. 
"Tell me"
"Tell me right now"
"Leave me alone!" 
This kept going on for awhile until he started threatening me.
"Tell me. Or else this axe will fix the problem" then he pulled out a fire axe from behind him.
"Give me your hand."
"No! Fuck you!"
When I said that he got furious, his face turned read and he started shaking like he usually does. He put the axe down and tried to calm himself down,"you better fucking tell me what's wrong right now!" At that point I just let go of everything that had happened and all my frustration and hatred for Richard at the same time. I started yelling at him. "Fuck you! I don't want to tell you my problems! You're not going to help, you'll just make things worse, that's all you ever do! No body here likes you! Why don't you just fucking leave already! Get out!" He started shaking and his face was bright red with anger. In the middle of all this my mom had gonna outside to call the police from him threatening me. She had finally had it with him and wanted him gone. He grabbed my wrist tight, bruising it and then starting to break it while yelling in my face. I punched him with my other hand and then he reached back for the axe. Everything was getting out of hand and I slowly faded awake, panting and crying like always when this happens.

Journal History


moka-asaki's Profile Picture
lindsey smith
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I'm mostly a vent artist; that's really the only time I have ideas to draw. Besides that, I take photography when I can.

I usually spend most of my time gaming

This is where I come to be myself.

I want an mvp22u (v3)

Current Residence: willard MO
deviantWEAR sizing preference: adult medium...?
Favorite genre of music: techno
Favorite style of art: manga/anime, horror
Operating System: mac or pc
MP3 player of choice: iPhone
Skin of choice: apple
Personal Quote: im dying. im dead.

Instagram: moka_asaki

Should I clean up my gallery? I know lots of people clean out all their old crappy art after awhile. 

2 deviants said No way
1 deviant said Yeah, do it.



Take my plz's
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NML-Photography Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the fave. Much appreciated. :D

250 by NML-Photography
DebasishPhotos Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks a lot for the fave.:) (Smile) 
moka-asaki Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem ^^
DebasishPhotos Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Nod :D (Big Grin) 
tawunap159 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015
Thanks for the +fav 
Weissglut Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014
Martina-WW Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014
Misc Emoji-11 (Stars) [V1] Thanks so much for faving.Misc Emoji-11 (Stars) [V1]
moka-asaki Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem ^^
First-Rose Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav ;3
moka-asaki Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
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